Unwanted Confessions
by Krustybunny
Summary: One-Shot. Post funeral for Neal. Emma falls back on old habits of hiding behind her walls. Hook just isn't willing to let her fall back too far. Seriously though, this is just something I had in my head.


Emma stood at his grave. Last one left, staring at the headstone of a man she loved. But right now she hated him. Neal had been her first love, but how many damned times did she have to go through saying good-bye to him? How many times would she have to grieve the loss of him? Each time worse, and as crude as it felt in her chest, Emma really hoped he didn't come back from this one. Outside of the whole zombie aspect, she just couldn't handle it anymore. She was just done. Turning from Neal,_ again_, Emma made to leave the cemetery. It would have been a nice quiet escape from the heaviness.

Would have been, till she looked up. Leaning against a far tree, well away from where everyone had been for the burial (no time for a ceremony with the Witch Bitch still on the loose), was the other half of her problems. Sure the Witch was an issue, but it was one Emma could fight. A tangible focus of the crap storm that is currently her life. But that problem on her close horizon, watching her like a hawk, was one she couldn't deal with. Emma silently pleaded in her head that he'd stay on that horizon and let her be. Which is probably why he straightened up and made an intercept course towards her. Because this day had to prove itself as one of the worst ones.

Emma didn't slow her stride for him, didn't make eye contact again. Maybe he'd take the hint that she wasn't available for him right now. No comments about their Witch problems, no innuendos, or snarky comments about god knows what. Just worlds of no.

"You alright there Swan?" Hook placed himself in her way. Nope, the world wasn't cutting her breaks today.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Emma kept her eyes anywhere but Hook. Kept her voice deadpan. Arms folded in front of her warding off the cold and anyone's comfort. Pain has always been a solo act, sympathy wasn't allowed.

Not buying it, Hook planted his feet in a firmer stance in front of her. He saw her walls climbing sky-high around her. Shutting down, swallowing yet another broken piece of her heart. He hurt for her. He wanted to hold onto her till the world faded away. Though Hook made no movements to do so. She'd likely kick him in his balls again. He simply waited, staring her down, waiting for her to finally look at him.

"Not now Hook. I just... I really can't right now." Emma shifted between feet. Still not making eye contact with those ungodly blue eyes of his. He always saw more than she wanted him to.

"Aye. Then permit me to at least escort you home, this is not the best time to be alone." Hook backed one leg away from her, opening the route she was originally on. Falling into step with her as she continued on.

* * *

Every day after was the same with Hook. If he wasn't right there next to her for some reason or another, he was usually off in the distance watching her. The only time Emma _didn't_ see him basically stalking her, was when she had asked him to watch over Henry or her mother. It was pissing her off. If he was with Emma, he kept the conversation brief and about the Witch or her monkeys. He maintained about a foot or two between them, unless a fight caused otherwise. But then he would turn those damned eyes of his on her. She could feel them going through her whether he was right beside her, or down the block. She was done. She had lost the same man three times in her life, lost the closest thing to a stable relationship because the guy wasn't even human, and now this... this... _pirate_, was hounding her. At first he was at least trying to be sly about it. Now he was openly watching her from the rooftop across the street. Emma kept going back and forth between which was worse: Hook keeping tabs on her publicly, or that the town knew and wasn't stopping him.

_Savior equals no breaks...from_ _anything._

Emma huffed. Another fight. She saw it coming days ago, but ignored it.

_Which is working fantastically... _

She didn't want to fight him. She knew, generally, of his feelings for her. She knew that even if nothing ever came of it and their hearts fell to others, his loyalty to her would never break. Emma _knew_ that Hook... that Killian, was a part of her life in one form or another. He would never leave her. Short of something severely dramatic anyway. And her life, as it was, lent itself to the severely dramatic.

She couldn't breathe. Knowing he was watching only made it harder to think. Escaping him would be a problem, but not one she couldn't swing. Knowing his eyes were on her, she moved to the kitchen of her parents loft. Pulled out a bottle of rum that they had started keeping on hand for him. Label facing the window. Pulled two tumblers from the cabinet and placed them on the counter. Leaned back, and waited three heartbeats. He would get the idea that she was waiting for him to come over. Then she moved to the restroom. Even if he saw her at this point through his spyglass, it would look innocent enough.

Emma locked the bathroom door. Not knowing the lead she might have on him, she might need the extra second. Emma threw open the bathroom window, very grateful that it was a full sized one, and not one she'd have to squeeze through. The drop was a doozy, but she'd done worse, rolling through the landing. Two more heartbeats to regain her breath. Then she made her way to the woods. Moving fast, but screw running. There was a spot out behind Regina's vault that Emma had become fond of on one of her down days. Back before any broken curses. Back when Graham was alive. He had shown it to her. There wasn't any open way to it, you had to climb and duck through the outdoors to get to it. But it was a spot where you could feel completely alone. Just some fallen trees making a slight covering. Once she had brought out some pillows for when she just needed more than a few hours away from her nightmare version of Disney.

Emma was watching her footing. Keeping her eyes on the ground looking for new growth that would trip her. Emma should have been looking forward, she would have seen him waiting for her already. But her eyes stayed down. Her body slumping to the ground when she reached her fallen tress. Bringing out the pillow tucked inside a hallow spot, protected against the elements by a plastic storage bag. Un-sheathing the pillow, she snuggled down into the fallen leaves and underbrush, finally feeling the tension ease away. Slipping into the first real sleep in weeks... since Neal's death.

* * *

Emma woke hours later. The sun was setting. Groaning at the verbal lashing she would get from all sides, she sat up, coat falling down around her waist. The warmth it provided leaving her skin. The fog in her brain began lifting. Her coat was still on her shoulders. The one that pooled at her waist was long and black. The rage was quick and blinding. She was on her feet and screaming, all manner of sense lost. Her safe spot from that world had been breached. Worse, had been breached by _him_.

"_**HOOK**_!"

Emma spun to the movement from behind her fallen trees. Hook stood, leaves and twigs holding tight to his clothing. His face and eyes at war with each other, conveying different truths. He climbed over her fallen trees with ease not fitting a one-handed man. Holding her gaze with his own he sauntered over to her, but stopped within two feet. Maintaining that physical space he had been giving her lately. One she knew he had no problem invading, but seemed bound to it now like an invisible barrier forcing his distance.

"Swan, I think you should scream again. There are creatures in Neverland that might still retain their hearing."

"What is this?" Emma held out his coat, her anger making her hands shake.

"I believe it's called a coat in both our lands Swan." Oh she was going to murder him. Opting for the moment to throw the coat at him instead. Earning her a flash of anger from the pirate before his face and eyes resumed their half-truths.

"No shit. Why was it with me?"

"You were cold Swan. Merely served its purpose of retaining warmth."

Since Hook had come to New York for her, he had picked up this habit of telling the truth and being openly evasive. It was infuriating.

"Why. Was. It. With me?"

Hook heaved a sigh, scratching the back of his neck. "Ask the question you want to ask Emma."

She glared at him. _Did he just accuse **me** of being evasive? _

Emma stared him down. His face was defiant. Hard and set. But his eyes were sad. Apologizing for something and begging her for another. They conflicted, throwing her ability to read him. That's when she realized what was making her insane. She couldn't read him anymore. The one person she could count on to be himself regardless of moment, was acting out of character. The stable person she could hold onto was pulling away.

Just like Neal in New York, like Walsh after the potion... in New York, and now Hook, after New York. Emma cursed the city internally.

"Fine. Why are _you_ with me? Here?"

"The forest isn't somewhere to sleep Swan. Not when you have a comfortable bed to rest in, least of all when there are flying monkeys on the attack, at the beck and call of a mentally ill green woman." So he was standing guard. Emma bought that. He'd taken on the roll a little back in Neverland.

"How did you find me? I left you at the loft, and there's no way you knew about this place."

"I always find you Swan." His face flickered with something again. It looked like pain. But he continued before Emma could read it properly. "I nearly bought into your game. Thought maybe this stalemate might be coming to a close finally. I made it to the door leading into the building when I heard your drop from the window. Too eager Swan. Couldn't wait to get away from me, making it easier to find you."

"Can you blame me? You've been stalking me for two weeks now! Not even being discrete about it either. I don't have a moment to myself! I can't breathe..." Emma made the mistake of taking her eyes off Hook to run her hands through her hair. It took a stride and a half for him to be in front of her. Snapping her face back to him. His eyes in pain, hurting enough that she hurt too. But his face and body were rolling with heat and anger. He still didn't touch her, but this was the closest he had been in weeks of his own violation.

"And what would you have me do Swan? Leave you completely alone to hide behind your walls? Shutting out everyone who loves you? Or perhaps leave you alone to break entirely?" She had almost forgotten how intense his eyes could be.

"Who said I was hiding or breaking AT ALL? I was dealing with saying good-bye to Neal for the _third_ time in my life. With having to save everyone, _**AGAIN**_. I'm sorry if not weeping into anyone's shoulder causes concern. But I've been alone to deal with just about everything for most of my life. Even _WITH_ the false memories. All I was _trying_ to do, was deal the _only_ way I know how." Emma's voice kicked up a notch in volume with each word till she was nearly screaming.

"Oh I know Swan." Hook's voice returning to that quiet calm that was either comforting or frightening. "I know how easy it is to fall back on old habits when you feel like there isn't anything else. What I don't understand is your buggering damned need to be blind."

"Blind? Ho-"

"Aye, blind. You may have spent your life alone. One failed home after another. Neal may have caused damage to your already dying trust in people as a whole. But you are blind. You have your parents now. You have Henry now. Friends and family all throughout this town. All willing to be whatever you need. You have saved them all numerous times. Endless times for some. And yet you refuse to see the love and help they offer."

"Hook-"

"I'm not finished Swan." His eyes took on a dangerous tilt. "So why was I with you? Why did I lay my coat on you while you shivered on the forest floor? Because if you insist on this bloody maddening need to be blind, then I am damned well going to grab your hand and lead you through it till you open those wondrous green eyes of yours and see what you have standing in front of you."

Emma swallowed. She heard the underlying conversation. Didn't want to, but she heard it. She fell a step back, causing Killian's face to back into a mask of pained indifference. She would have walked away then, but Hook still wasn't finished putting Emma in her place.

"As for stalking you Emma, I am sorry for the distress it caused you. However it started with only myself worrying over your take on Neal's passing. Then your mother inquired that I keep an eye on you, followed then by your father, and then Henry..."

_Shit._

Emma couldn't deny how bad she had to have appeared, how withdrawn, if Henry was seeking out the random guy in leather Emma introduced him to.

"...It was when Regina sought me out to keep a wary eye that I dropped all pretense and made it blatant that I was following you around love."

"Regina? She asked you to look out for me?" _**That** was new..._

"Aye. Bloody Evil Queen herself. The one hell-bent on destroying you and your family. I thought I was hallucinating or perchance she was under some spell. She claimed that, '...if the Savior was broken, then she couldn't save anyone...' but I think more lies underneath. She has a new-found respect for you I think."

Emma blinked. Processing way too much in too little days. She really just wanted to crawl back under her trees and let the world melt away for about a week. Her head fell in her hands. A small groan falling from her throat. Hook closed what was left of the space between them, pulling her hands from her face. Tilting her chin up, forcing her to see him.

"Can't hide forever love." He grabbed her hand in his own. Emma tensing at the sensations it caused, wanting to pull away. But Hook held firm. And led her from the woods. "Let's get back to your family."

* * *

_**A/N: I had started this prior to the showing of "Quiet Minds". I was in the mood for some angst. And though I'm not sure what it is... there it is. **_


End file.
